Finally…Moving the Needle

Finally moving toward what you alway thought ‘you should be doing’ and seeing the first little signs that things are going the direction you wanted them to go is one of the most exhilarating feelings on the planet. What is it that has lived in your mind, in your fantasies, in your ‘dream come true’ file, as being the thing you were born to do, but somehow hadn’t managed to get there? Writing a novel? Being an actor? Finishing that degree? We all have things like this that we feel so passionate about, especially when we are young and see the world as full of endless possibility, and we sometimes act on them, learning new skills, getting in shape, practicing the scales, and putting effort into becoming better at them. As we grow older, and begin to face the failures that life needs us to experience, not simply to fail for failure’s sake, but to learn that a particular way of doing something may not be the best way for us to do it. Then pivoting and finding another way to do something.  While some have dreamed of a life as a concert pianist, and through hard work, bring their skill levels to their highest personal level, only to realize at some point that while they are exceptionally good, their skill may not take them to a higher level, allowing them to be the concert pianist they dreamed of being. A version of the old saying of ‘all dressed up with nowhere to go,’ comes to mind. What now? Perhaps the discipline learned at the keyboard, along with their love of the music itself can still be a large part of their life, but in a different way. A very famous actor, with many awards for his acting was in this exact situation, realizing that his skill were not going to take him to the world’s stages as a pianist, so he pivoted to acting, throwing himself into learning from the best, using the discipline he had developed as a musician in a new field, and becoming one of the best there. And he still plays the piano and enjoys being able to play some of the most phenomenal compositions written.

While the above story about the pianist-turned-actor is wonderful to hear, what did it actually take to make that turn, and face an uncertain future in a new field? In this, there are feeling of loss, thoughts of wrong choices, perhaps overestimating what was possible, but facing the need to change how we are doing things, and taking action to make our lives better. As with all loss, there needs to be grieving for the loss: the loss of a dream we once pursued. A dream we needed to pursue, because it gave us new tools, focus, and the ability to communicate in a particular way, and most of all, the confidence that we can become very skilled at one thing, but through life-circumstances, realize we need to let go of the result we were seeking in the first place. In the case of the pianist, he developed his skill to the top of his ability, and kept the confidence that becoming extremely good at something brings with it. While realizing that making a living as a pianist was not to be his future, he was able to more quickly pivot to another way of entertaining people with his physical skills, this time as other characters. We are all able to do this by remembering the times we accomplished something difficult, and we enjoyed the journey to its accomplishment, as opposed to focusing on the end goal, and taking that into each situation life presents us. Whether it is a new job, needing to learn something quickly to keep pace with life—new parents know this well!—or doing something for the simple pleasure it brings to us is the path we can follow.