The Tranquility of Acceptance

As Americans, we are taught to fight, to win, to dominate, and to be number one in whatever we do. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It has allowed a very young country to accomplish so much in so short a time it almost seems miraculous. Training our minds and our bodies is hard work, but we do it, as the saying goes, because training hard is easier than losing. Losing the game, the girl, the job, and it stings because it’s not what we were taught, and not what we have come to expect from ourselves, as well as others. There are teachers, gurus, mentors, and coaches out there, in every subject, whose existence is to help us reach a higher level, to create our best selves.

All well and good. But what if it doesn’t work out the way we planned? Life does that sort of thing more than it doesn’t. And then come the questions: did I really want this, or did I do it for someone else? What did I do wrong? Was there something else I should have done? The questions never end, but looking at some of the reasons we acted in a certain way can be helpful in guiding us to our next step. Do we regroup and try again? Do we give it up, whatever ‘it’ is, altogether? Or do we accept that we failed on this attempt and with this method and then move on. Perhaps to try again in a different way, or see where our actions led us astray on the first attempt. 

Or, do we accept where we are at this moment—lost game, failed experiment—and simply be with those feelings we have right now. Because with the sting of ‘failure’ is sometimes the relief that it has been tried, didn’t work out this time, and that’s okay. Or perhaps in retrospect, you’re able to see some of the things that tripped up this attempt at ‘winning’ the goal in front of you. And you see that the attempt was mostly successful, but the path to where you ultimately wanted to be was flawed in some way, and impeded your progress. Learning and understanding each little nuance of how you arrived here, today, at this moment in time, in these circumstances, is invaluable in moving forward. Success is truly an upward spiral, and in its circular pattern, you will encounter things you’ve seen before, and need to navigate the path in a different way that you did last time. This time, however, there is a calmness and tranquility, born of similar experience, in knowing at least one possibility that did not work, and being able to take another path with confidence that this time may work out better. Now you have taken responsibility for your actions, for your mistakes, and of only what you do in the moment. And our public image, as we see ourselves, comes into sharper focus as we accept our truths, our actions, our words, and cease to care about how this image looks to others, following only our own truth.