Accepting Struggle

Struggle is just another word for growth. This is a phrase I try to remember when I am struggling with something, be it at work, at home, within society, or elsewhere. Any time this occurs, it’s easy to remember the ‘better times’ when things were not in turmoil, when our minds were more at ease, and it was easier to make decisions. But, like an acorn that grew into an oak tree, the struggle itself is the thing that actually makes the majesty of a mature oak possible. It’s the germination of the seed within the acorn itself that begins the entire process of ‘creating’ an oak tree, as it gets larger, pushing through the earth, tiny leaves pushing through the bark as it continues to slowly grow, each step bringing maturity and growth. As for the nascent oak tree, growth is not easy for human beings as well. We probably all remember our struggles in our teen years as we learned more and more of what it was to become an adult; sometimes exciting, sometimes scary, but all part of the journey to adulthood. This is one of our greatest periods of learning in life, as each thing we learn expands our minds, our consciousness, and our spirits. As we get older, these days of learning tend to be lumped into a category of things that happened before we became adults, and is largely forgotten by most of us, and far too often, the learning stops. We seek continuity, be it in our relationships, our careers, and so much else. To ‘get through the day,’ even when we love our work, sometimes becomes our mantra, and we try to avoid or avert anything that looks like struggle.

To remember, then, that struggle can be an indication of real and important progress, and to accept its role in allowing us to grow as humans and become better people, is often difficult. Important questions that need to be asked at this point might include: ‘What is this teaching me? What is it that I need to learn right now? From this situation? What is this preparing me to be able to do in the future? Because struggle often triggers fear, these questions are difficult to remember sometimes, because we are now in survival mode, and the more philosophical questions get lost as we defend or protect ourselves. Greeting the struggle, especially the questions we humans ask one another, is so very difficult sometimes. Already in defense mode, the questions as to what we are doing, thinking, and trying to create, are greeted with defensive answers, often not fully developed, as we make our way to the next higher level of being in our lives. At this point, we can easily be ‘defeated’ and can retreat on our journey in order to create status quo, or we can simply put our nose to the grindstone and keep moving toward our own, perhaps-undefined goal, despite not quite being sure what that goal is at times. Here, our stillness and our quietness are our closest allies. Stillness, defined in terms of not giving up, of continuing toward the direction we have already seen in our minds, and of not responding, or reacting, to the questions we hear, is vital. Simply being quiet, saying nothing, accepting the questions and criticism of others as simply noise on our journey allows us to focus on what is ahead, what dragons we need to slay, what step is next, and permits our entire being to concentrate on moving forward. To react, to respond, is exactly what will freeze our movement. Not reacting to criticism is so very difficult, though, and requires dedication and practice. ‘No, I don’t agree with what was said, but I can let it go.’ ‘Yes, it seems risky, but I know this is the way through,’ are both thoughts that can help us navigate this passage. It is truly sailing between Scilla and Charybdis though, being tempted at every turn, to respond and join the external conversation; the conversation that truly pulls the wind out of our sails.

Sometimes, to move forward, is a solo journey, and can sometimes feel lonely, because moving through life forces us to face who we are, truthfully, and without the masks we often create to make ‘life’ a little easier. Taking that journey unmasked, especially to ourselves, is to reject the little things that made moving forward easier, and taking on the naked truths we need to reach those higher levels of being, where we can truly be ourselves, and not a shadow of who and what we were truly meant to be.