Letting Go of the Anger

‘You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.’

                    —Buddha

Recently I have begun to let go of anger. Not to get angry. Not that the temptation is not there, of course, but I made a conscious decision to be aware of what I was doing, and to let it go. The quote that started this piece is absolutely spot-on: when we are angry, we are in a state of fear, and the thoughts that run through our mind are uncomfortable and worrying. Anger is the offspring of Fear, just as Kindness is the offspring of Love; two sides of the same coin. Anger, though, escalates quickly, like a fire in a dry wood, and soon we have quickly lost control of ourselves. On the road, the woman who pulled in front of my car, way too close for comfort, and I wanted to land on the horn, curse her out, and follow her for a while—to appear to be a threat?—but after a deep breath, and the realization that we were both okay, and really, that she had moved on emotionally, I was able to let it drop within me. My breathing returned to normal, my focus on driving returned, and I continued my journey home in relative peace. This episode in my life sounds harmless, and it was. In my past, however, I might not have taken this tack, and in trying to let her know she had really scared me with her manœuvre, I would have continued to talk it out, having a ‘conversation’—with myself—about what had just happened. The physical aspect of this sort of thing is really the amazing part, and proof positive that what we are thinking and saying has a big effect on our physical bodies, and therefore, on our health.

This little story is just one example of the type of thing that we hang onto far after the event itself has ended, and the result is that we feel the exact same fear, loathing, anger, and passion that we did in the moment; a moment that has passed into history. As the old saying goes, no matter how often you look at the past, there is nothing new there. Life is lived in the moment, this moment, right here and now. Not ten minutes ago, and not ten years ago. The point is to know our past, not to forget it, but to use the bad things, or failures, as lessons that teach us. Anger/Fear is a powerful thing, used by oligarchs and dictators to subdue people into following their wishes and not question them. On a more personal level, the fear of being fired or laid off from a job is real, and it may motivate us to do good work by really concentrating on the tasks in front of us. Fear is not a bad thing in itself, but a warning sign that things might be better is we take a different path or action. We are able to see this only if we are completely aware of our words, our actions, and the intent behind them. It is then that we are able to be at our most effective as human beings, and create a better world for us all by gently moving through life, awake and aware.