How We Sustain

We all have those days, perhaps weeks or months, when we don’t quite know what we need to do to keep ourselves moving through this life. At these times, it seems and feels like whatever we do, whenever we do it, things just don’t seem to work out for us the way we might like. Life somewhat stalls at those moments, and we begin to question nearly everything we’ve done beforehand, and judge those actions and decisions as not helpful, and mostly to blame for where we feel we have landed. Of course, this is not the case. We have all made mistakes in our past—big and small—but we keep moving forward, perhaps apologizing and feeling bad for our choice, and eventually we come to feel better about ourselves and where we are.

We are, in philosophical terms, in the Wilderness; that place, or feeling of being alone, remorseful for our behavior, and hoping for answers that don’t seem to come as fast as we would like. So we continue moving through the Wilderness—our life—and looking more closely at the people and things we encounter. Each, after all, might have the answers we seek, and we simply don’t want to miss the chance to speak with them and learn more about who they are. Many times, we encounter others in the same Wilderness as we; searching, looking, listening, and attempting to better understand how to move forward. So, what can we do in this case? Most simply, we can acknowledge where we are, how we feel, and reassure ourselves that this is where we need to be: confused, hopeful, uncertain, and determined. And while those feelings do not necessarily help us feel better, they are keys to feeling better, and giving ourselves another chance to do better the next time.

When we make mistakes, realizing that we have done so, and acknowledging this fact is our first, and most difficult, step we can take. It involves taking our minds back to the events that put us where we are now, remembering the actions, words, and circumstances involved, looking—with honesty and truth—at how the events unfolded, our part in them, and seeing—in slow-motion, almost—how we are now able to move forward and what it will take for us to do so.  However easy or difficult these words and actions might be for us, having recently relived the events, we are able to map out our journey out of the wilderness and into a more peaceful life again.

While these journeys out of our own personal Wilderness may not be easy, being in the Wilderness and experiencing it in all ways will help us make better choices in our lives as we move forward and embrace life, again, with all of it’s twists and turns.