Alone…. Together….

You’ve seen these people.  In the streets, in the market, waiting at the deli, buying movie tickets.  They’re everywhere, and seem to grow in number by the minute. And what they’re doing is not illegal. Nor is it harmful to others, for the most part. You know who they are: those people under the impression that they are the only person on the planet.  Or at least in the general vicinity.  Stopping in the middle of a crowded sidewalk to more fully explain, and with hand gestures, what they’re talking about, requiring everyone else to try and move around them and their posse.  Or the one in the produce section of the market, cart in the middle of the aisle, taking his time to decide between the shiitakes or the portabellas, despite having made this decision before leaving home and writing it on his list.  Or forgetting one of geometry’s principle tenets, that the shortest distance between two point is a straight line; the evidence here being the slow, meandering, diagonal walk across the parking lot, effectively blocking all traffic from proceeding until they’ve reached their destination.  

And yes, I’m being a crank, because I also have a life to live, and I want to get to it, without waiting for these people to reach a decision or destination at last.  And like many, patience is not one of my strong suits; something I work on constantly, but like others, I fail more than I succeed here.  And why is this such a big deal?  Because, it seems these folks have decided that they are not responsible for being considerate to others, despite being out in society, in public, where others have different needs, wants and agendas.  While the individual is not, indeed, responsible for someone else’s life, the individual IS responsible for being a good enough citizen that everyone in society can go about their business without being hindered by someone else’s behavior or actions.  ‘Good enough citizen’ means moving aside when someone says ‘excuse me,’ or conducting themselves in a crowded area so that everyone can move through or around the area without endangering anyone else, and moving aside from the most-commonly used path to allow equal access to everyone.  It means being aware, and paying attention to the situation at hand, rather than the cell phone, for example, and actually taking the time to notice what is happening in the deli, restaurant, gas station, etc., adapting to the circumstances, and moving on when you have finished your business there.  A part of this last is having the courtesy—I know, a too-little-used, slightly-mocked word by too many—to see and asses the situation and then asking if you are in the way, does someone need help, or directions, or simply if you can pass by or give your order if someone seems to need more time to make a decision.  And, to remember that someone asking these types of questions are probably not judging you, are not necessarily annoyed by you, but are simply looking to go about their business as quickly as they can, and are politely asking you to help them do so.  When these questions come, it’s not about or against you, but about you and another taking part in the sometimes easy, sometimes complex, journey through life in society.  Together.