The Excitement of Possibility

Things may be changing in my life. While those who know me well know that changes have been the only constant in my peripatetic life, my work life may be changing. And while I love the team with whom I’ve worked, laughed, and grown so fond of over the past year or so, I also know it’s time to move on to the next challenge, the next mystery to solve on this journey through life. The thing is, it was uninvited and unexpected, and that’s not usually the case. Who knows? Maybe I’m growing wiser, letting go of things, and allowing life to take the wheel, instead of constantly planning, directing, and executing each and everything that happens in my life. But one day last week, an email appeared asking if I were interested in discussing a particular position with a company I’ve long had on my radar, and one that I’ve long respected, so this was an anomaly: something I (probably) wanted, but had done little or nothing to cause it. Two old phrases came to mind: 1. Is this too good to be true? 2. Don’t poke the bear. Let it sleep peacefully. But after a day and a half, I responded that I’d like the opportunity to talk about this opportunity, and we set up a time for a phone interview. Que ominous music….

The two days before we would speak on the phone, I did my research, going over every aspect of the company: where they’d been, where they were going, recent executive changes, marketing, what Wall Street thought, what current and former employees thought, and so on, to get a bigger picture of what I would be discussing than I had before this occurred. The result: no horror stories, recent industry awards for the Creative Director, a positive Wall Street outlook, and confidence in the CEO. All good, so all that remained was a better picture of what I would be doing, with whom would I be working directly, who my key partners were, and what specific direction would I need to take to make the move a successful one for both the company and me.

The day arrived, and I was now excited at the possibility in front of me. The phone rang about ten minutes after the agreed-upon time, but that, too, was okay, as it allowed me to look at my notes and questions and better prepare for the coming discussion. And it went…beautifully! I learned more about the position as well as the specifics of the corporate relationships I would navigate in this role, and the call closed with an invite to meet in person the next week at The Office, corporate HQ, to further discuss this possibility. And that day is coming….

And now? I’m excited! I have a good thing in front of me, as well as a good conversation with someone who will be a professional connection regardless of the outcome of this particular instance. And THAT IS EXCITING! If this works out, great! If it doesn’t, for whatever reason on either of our parts, that, too, is great. It is that little tingle of excitement in my body that allows me to relax at work and take things a little less seriously than I did before, because of the possibility in front of me. And that possibility is all the difference.

Keep Running

Photo: wal_172619/Pixabay

Taking up a cause—personal, professional, artistic—is a significant step in our lives. It may be a decision to lose weight, or get a degree, change jobs, or run a Marathon, and our focus is suddenly riveted toward this singular goal. It may also be a simple change in our habits, like getting up earlier in the morning, avoiding sugary drinks, or taking a walk every day. To be sure, each of these things mentioned requires planning, intention, time, and thought. There will be successes, and there will be times we feel like giving up and moving on to something ‘easier,’ or that this thing ‘really doesn’t matter.’ Except that it does matter, to us. It is easy to become weighed Ure by negative thoughts, and begin to believe that we cannot accomplish anything, much less our personal goal, but if we can refocus on the fact that so many extraordinary things were done by people just like us, just by their perseverance, and not losing sight of where they want to be, we, too, are able to take just one more step.

Life itself is busy and demands our attention constantly. The job, the family, the bills to be paid, all vie for our time. And in the midst of those, we still have personal goals and dreams that keep popping up in our minds at various times. Usually, we smile, and think, ‘Boy! Wouldn’t I love to….’ and then return to what is already in place. Realizing that there is room for both our current life as well as goals, large and small, can help us begin to do those things that really feed us spiritually. It can be really easy to get stuck there and think we can never get close to these higher elevations.

However, whatever life has presented us, we can always do just a little bit more, and edge toward that higher goal, whatever it may be. As a runner, even when hot, tired, and we feel unable to take another step toward the finish line, we find that we are not only able to take that next step, but multiple steps, painful as they may seem, toward a finish line, that sometimes only we can envision.

Whatever causes us to keep running, to keep moving, and to reach our goal, is within us. We may do it for our father, our mother, our coach, someone or something else that lights that fire within us. While having an image of what we choose to become by completing this, there is also a letting go of the doubt, the words of others, and the belief that only Olympians, of whatever sort, might reach this high. As the faith in our own capabilities grows, however, we become more sure of ourselves, focusing on our goal, and not our own doubts, as well as those of the naysayers, in reaching for the stars.

Like those Heroes, Saints, and Legends, we, too, are capable, and responsible, for shaking off the weight of our own concerns, doubts, and misgivings, and simply running our own race. This is the race we were meant to run, as only we are able to run it, and it helps the world continue to see that extraordinary feats are not only possible, but that WE are the ones that can make it happen.

Living to the Fullest

Photo: ludi/PIxabay

‘Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.’

                    —Jim Rohn 

Change does not come easily to most adults. We like our routines, our expected outcomes, and the knowledge that we do know what to expect in particular situations. We are comfortable with these things, and it does, indeed, make life a bit easier to navigate at times. When things are going well for us—meaning we are satisfied with our lives as they are—change is not particularly welcome. The unexpected late nights at work, the report that needs to be finished by tomorrow, the client demands necessitating change to the plans already made for them, and so very many more. Change is a speed bump on our well known, smooth road, yet it can be the chance to experience things in different ways that affect how we think about them.

Small changes, baby steps, minute adjustments, and whatever other terms we use to begin changing things in our lives, often make bigger changes smoother. When we began school at a young age, this was often either exciting or frightening, depending on how we viewed this new format in front of us. In either case, we were there, getting used to new people, new activities, and the change in how we moved through our lives, which was markedly different from our home-based life before this event. It is here, however, that we begin to learn the socialization that helps guide us through our lives as we grow and mature.

‘Hi,’ we say to the person sitting next to us at the table, opening a door to conversation and to get to know someone else. They may reply, or not, but we just took our first step in adapting to the change we now face. While it might be one of those ‘baby steps,’ it still puts us out there, in our own society, and we begin to learn how to meet people, have a conversation, find things in common with another, and to become just a little more comfortable in this new situation. If the person to whom we said ‘Hi’ does not respond, we may take a further chance and tell them our name, and then ask theirs. As adults, we are placed in these sorts of situations constantly, and it is easy to forget the fear or confusion we might have felt in this position as a much younger person.

Occurrences like the one above can be the bedrock of experiencing change on one level, and embracing it on another level entirely. Those minute adjustments we make in ourselves in order to make a new situation more acceptable, not only for ourselves, but for others as well, allow us to absorb the nuances of newness, let us learn how to interact with others, adapt to unfamiliar circumstances, and learn to see things in different ways; not just those we know and love. While our tried-and-true beliefs and habits will always be there for us when we need them, by accepting the challenges of change in our lives, we are putting ourselves in the position of opening doors to better our lives by learning and accepting that the world will always present the ‘different,’ the ‘unusual,’ and the ‘unfamiliar.’ 

We are taking life by the horns, and making changes ourselves that will allow us to be better, more understanding, and acceptable people. Rather than leaving it to chance…

Deciding in the Moment

Photo: OmarMedinaFilms/Pixabay

Moving through our lives, we have many things vying for our attention, and sometimes—often—we are asked to decide, at that very moment, to make a decision that may go against our thoughts. A friend asks us out for a drink. Our boss asks us to finish our report by Monday morning, which would entail working through the weekend. What do we say in each of these instances? Many, if not most, would agree to what was asked, which would mean foregoing whatever else we might have had plans to do instead. We want to be nice, and agreeable, to our friend, to our boss, so we say ‘yes’ and put the other things on hold.Why? One answer is that when we are unclear about what is essential in our lives—work, family, leisure, etc.—we are almost defenseless. Yes, we may have made plans to go hiking with the family this weekend, or needed to be available to pick up the children, or have tickets to a concert that evening, but more strongly, we do not want to create a socially awkward situation that will put everyone out.

There is a wonderful story that author Greg McKeown tells in his book Essentialism about his friend Cynthia and her father. The two of them—Cynthia was twelve at the time—had planned a ‘date’ night in San Francisco for just the two of them, when they would take a trolley car to Chinatown, eat Chinese food—a favorite—shop for a souvenir, take in the sights, catch a movie, and then take a taxi back to the hotel, take a quick swim, order a hot-fudge sundae from room service, and then watch the late-late show. They had discussed the details over and again and the anticipation was high. Cynthia was with her father when they left the convention center, where he ran into an old friend he’d not seen for years. Cynthia watched as they embraced, and the friend said, ‘We want to invite you, and of course Cynthia, to get a spectacular seafood dinner down at the Wharf!’ Her father responded, ‘It’s great to see you. Dinner at the wharf sounds great!’ Cynthia was crushed. Then her father said, ‘But not tonight. Cynthia and I have a special date planned, don’t we?’ Whereupon he took Cynthia’s hand and they made an exit to begin their evening.

Cynthia’s father, who also happened to be Stephen R. Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and one of the most successful business thinkers of his generation, not only taught what is essential to the business world, he lived his life according to these essentialist principles. In two sentences, he let his friend, and his daughter, know what was most important, most essential, to him. He had the clarity of his convictions guiding him and he was able to keep his plans in place without creating any sort of awkwardness for either himself, his friend, and especially his daughter. His strong internal clarity on this point made the situation easy for him to respond. When this internal clarity is not clear, many of us tend to become defenseless in the situation, and say and do things that we really don’t consider crucial, in fear of creating social awkwardness. As humans, we are designed to get along with others, which is why the thought of saying ‘No’ in these potentially awkward predicaments makes us feel guilty. But our choice at this moment is to say ‘No,’ and regret it for a few moments, or to say ‘Yes’ and regret it for a long time.

We all like to get along with others, and while it’s not pleasant at first, we can learn to say ‘No’ firmly, yet gracefully. Our own fears of letting someone down, or disappointing another are largely amplified in our own minds, but the more we are able to do it, we often find that people respect us more. They are learning that while we may not be able to do everything, when we do say ‘Yes’ that we are fully present and at our best.

Just Show Up!

Eighty percent of success in life is just showing up.

—Woody Allen

There is much to consider when navigating this thing called life. Education, fitness, skills, socializing, and so forth. We are born without any of these, and it is only through learning about them, then learning how to do them, and then practicing that we come to a place where they are second-nature, and we do them without much thought. Anyone who has learned how to play a musical instrument, or learned another language can identify with that. At first, the process is exciting, as we have entered a new world where we know little to nothing, and each step, from learning basic piano chords, to being able to hold a conversation in Spanish is a little triumph for us. We have exponentially expanded our own universe and how we see it. As we continue to learn whatever has captured our attention, certain things become rote, and we cease to think about them, sometimes to the point of not paying attention.

The point where any activity becomes routine, and doesn’t require quite as much attention as it did when we were still novices, sometimes becomes the most important part of doing that special something. As any musician will tell you, practicing scales, from A to G, major and minor, is not likely the most interesting thing at times, but they will all tell you that this exercise is vital to their being able to play more difficult things: to create jazz riffs, to playing more difficult pieces. While they may feel they are moving through their exercises thoughtlessly, their mind is fully engaged, perhaps more so in these bedrock movements than in others. Here, they are not only improving their motor skills, but they are allowing themselves to move to another level of understanding altogether; perhaps a level they did not engineer, but reached nonetheless, thanks to these exercises. This is when these moments can become the most transformational to their growth as a musician. 

Life is complex as it is, and there are so many things we will never completely understand. Conversely, there will also be many things we perceive and can help others see and absorb new ideas. Trying things, especially things new to us, keeps us excited about learning. Each time we attempt something different, we not only learn new facts and skills, but we begin to link them to what we already know and begin to see new relationships and uses. Noticing these connections leads us to ask questions and seek answers, opening entire new worlds of knowledge to us. This, in turn, enables us to better understand how our world works, and how we can better use that knowledge as we navigate our way through life.

Transformation comes to us in many different ways. Often, we actively seek it by study, practice, and hard work, which is great. Sometimes, however, transformation sneaks up on us in the quiet, repeated movement and words; when we are not thinking too hard about what we are doing, when there is not a particular goal. Just by showing up, doing the work, and letting it guide us.

The Flip Side

Photo: FrankWinkler/PIxabay

I had to change my mind. Regarding my thoughts and opinions about a particular person I had already ‘judged’ as being somehow self-involved in any way possible. Yes, this person is famous. And successful. And well-known. And talkative. And giving to many others in ways I would not have expected: helping people, and their families, and their livelihood survive when things seemed their most bleak. And not only not wanting credit for this, but actually shunning the spotlight for his service to humanity. My blindfold was quickly torn away when I read about this person and what he has been doing over the past 18 months of the Pandemic, the Politicization of nearly everything, and the contentious atmosphere he faced. He did the right thing.

How did I reach those conclusions? It’s something I can’t possibly trace with any sort of accuracy, but it happened largely because I looked at the surface of something I did not know, did not try to know any better, and made a decision that served my ego; placing myself above this man as a better human being. Why? Because it was easy. And could be dismissed as such. The ‘High Road’ is not, however, the easy road; something we tend to forget all too often, particularly when dealing with our fellow humans. Quickly making a decision and moving on, allowing us to think and do other things more important to our own well-being. And also allowing us to think only of ourselves; our wants, needs, and desires. Rather than open our eyes, look around, and take in what we see. What we truly see. The good, the bad, and the ugly, and treat these all the same. We accept the good without question. But the ‘bad,’ or the ‘ugly?’ Not so much. What the difference is here, is what can change in the world, or at least our little corner of it, in ways we cannot yet see, but we know—deeply and with conviction—that we need to try to make a difference.

Will we succeed? Will we fail? Perhaps a little of each, as the situation begins to react to the efforts on its behalf and more people are encouraged to reach out and try to improve things. At this point is when the project we have taken on begins to take on a life of its own as things begin to unfold in ways we could not have predicted, as we start to see things we hadn’t thought of, but are moving the dial toward a better life and a better world. Some things we envisioned will come to be, and others will never see the light of day; replaced by others’ thoughts and actions, but with the same goals in mind.

Begin. Begin to trust. Other people. Ourselves. And our human capacity for survival, growth, and love. Truly seeing what is in front of us, without judgement, without ego, and with trust and love, is the way to begin doing the ‘right things,’ to follow the ‘High Road.’ Really working to make the world, our society, and the people around us better is truly the flip side of that judgement coin that isolates us, and makes the world a bleak place. Which side would we rather see, even if it is harder?

4 Steps to Downsizing With Your Pet

Good Evening Folks—This is a special evening at ‘Finding the Better Way,’ as we have a guest writing our post, specifically Jessica Brody. Jessica Brody created ‘Our Best Friends’ (our best friends.pet) so others could find a place to share stories and photos of their beloved animal companions. So, enjoy the voice Jessica brings to our site, and feel free to reach out to her via her website. So, without further ado….

4 Steps to Downsizing With Your Pet

You’ve realized that your current home is just too large, and you don’t need nearly so much space. But even though you’re interested in downsizing, you’re worried about how your pet will adjust during the process. Going through major life changescan be anxiety-inducing, but you can read helpful advice for big transitions on the blog Finding the Better Way. This guide will help you downsize with your pet while reducing your stress.

Prepare Your Home for Sale

If you own a home that you plan to put on the market before you move, you’ll need to stage each room to boost your chances of attracting a buyer. Moving recommends taking care of minor repairs, brightening up rooms by upgrading your lighting, and using neutral accessories to decorate. You can hire professional cleaners to clear away any pet dander.

While you may want to put some of your personal belongings in storage as you show your home, it’s important to keep your pet’s items within easy reach – you can stow them in a closet or drawer during showings. Otherwise, they might feel confused when they can’t find their toys!

Finding the Right Home

First, deciding how much space you and your pet really need is key. MoneyCrashers recommends considering which rooms in your current home you actually use – if you rarely use your guest bedroom, home office, or storage room, you probably won’t need so many additional rooms in your future home. 

But before you start house hunting, it’s a good idea to get preapproved for a mortgage. Not only will this help you figure out exactly how much you can borrow, you’ll be able to get through the closing process on a faster timeline once you do find the perfect home. You don’t want to miss out on the right property for you and your pet, so getting preapproved is definitely in your best interest!

Finally, make sure that you’ve found a great real estate agent before you start checking out open houses. They will help you find homes that actually suit your requirements, rather than recommending homes with too much square footage. Let them know if you want a home with a sizable backyard for your pet, or if you’d be happy simply living near a dog park!

Decluttering and Packing

As you stage your own home and get ready to move out, you’ll have to start decluttering and packing up your belongings. Decluttering can feel liberating – you’ll realize that you were holding on to lots of things you didn’t need, and once you’ve donated these items or thrown them out, you’ll feel much lighter! Plus, decluttering first means that you’ll have much less to pack, which will make the entire downsizing process more efficient. However, don’t toss out any of your pet’s favorite toys or bedding, as they will need these comfort objects during the move.

Keeping Your Pet Comfortable

Making sure that your pet feels safe and relaxed during your move should be one of your top priorities. Consider hiring movers so that you can pay close attention to your pet on moving day. You can also pack a box with their belongings that will always be easily accessible. This will allow you to set up their bed and toy basket as soon as you arrive at your new home.

The downsizing process doesn’t happen overnight, so you’ll need to prepare in advance. But even if you’re a pet owner, downsizing can be relatively stress-free. With these tips, you’ll be able to get the keys to a home that will be just the right size for you and your pet to live comfortably!

Looking for inspiration during a big lifestyle change? Check out realistic personal development advice from Finding the Better Way. Browse the blog today for helpful tips and guidance.

Photo via Pexels

Accepting Struggle

Struggle is just another word for growth. This is a phrase I try to remember when I am struggling with something, be it at work, at home, within society, or elsewhere. Any time this occurs, it’s easy to remember the ‘better times’ when things were not in turmoil, when our minds were more at ease, and it was easier to make decisions. But, like an acorn that grew into an oak tree, the struggle itself is the thing that actually makes the majesty of a mature oak possible. It’s the germination of the seed within the acorn itself that begins the entire process of ‘creating’ an oak tree, as it gets larger, pushing through the earth, tiny leaves pushing through the bark as it continues to slowly grow, each step bringing maturity and growth. As for the nascent oak tree, growth is not easy for human beings as well. We probably all remember our struggles in our teen years as we learned more and more of what it was to become an adult; sometimes exciting, sometimes scary, but all part of the journey to adulthood. This is one of our greatest periods of learning in life, as each thing we learn expands our minds, our consciousness, and our spirits. As we get older, these days of learning tend to be lumped into a category of things that happened before we became adults, and is largely forgotten by most of us, and far too often, the learning stops. We seek continuity, be it in our relationships, our careers, and so much else. To ‘get through the day,’ even when we love our work, sometimes becomes our mantra, and we try to avoid or avert anything that looks like struggle.

To remember, then, that struggle can be an indication of real and important progress, and to accept its role in allowing us to grow as humans and become better people, is often difficult. Important questions that need to be asked at this point might include: ‘What is this teaching me? What is it that I need to learn right now? From this situation? What is this preparing me to be able to do in the future? Because struggle often triggers fear, these questions are difficult to remember sometimes, because we are now in survival mode, and the more philosophical questions get lost as we defend or protect ourselves. Greeting the struggle, especially the questions we humans ask one another, is so very difficult sometimes. Already in defense mode, the questions as to what we are doing, thinking, and trying to create, are greeted with defensive answers, often not fully developed, as we make our way to the next higher level of being in our lives. At this point, we can easily be ‘defeated’ and can retreat on our journey in order to create status quo, or we can simply put our nose to the grindstone and keep moving toward our own, perhaps-undefined goal, despite not quite being sure what that goal is at times. Here, our stillness and our quietness are our closest allies. Stillness, defined in terms of not giving up, of continuing toward the direction we have already seen in our minds, and of not responding, or reacting, to the questions we hear, is vital. Simply being quiet, saying nothing, accepting the questions and criticism of others as simply noise on our journey allows us to focus on what is ahead, what dragons we need to slay, what step is next, and permits our entire being to concentrate on moving forward. To react, to respond, is exactly what will freeze our movement. Not reacting to criticism is so very difficult, though, and requires dedication and practice. ‘No, I don’t agree with what was said, but I can let it go.’ ‘Yes, it seems risky, but I know this is the way through,’ are both thoughts that can help us navigate this passage. It is truly sailing between Scilla and Charybdis though, being tempted at every turn, to respond and join the external conversation; the conversation that truly pulls the wind out of our sails.

Sometimes, to move forward, is a solo journey, and can sometimes feel lonely, because moving through life forces us to face who we are, truthfully, and without the masks we often create to make ‘life’ a little easier. Taking that journey unmasked, especially to ourselves, is to reject the little things that made moving forward easier, and taking on the naked truths we need to reach those higher levels of being, where we can truly be ourselves, and not a shadow of who and what we were truly meant to be.

Use It or Lose It

Today I sat down at the piano for the first time in over a year. And though my history with the piano is somewhat chequered, I began to work on the Beethoven piece sitting on the music stand above the keyboard. It was awkward at first, with a lot of mistakes, fingers searching for familiarity with the now-estranged keyboard. Of course, I was also trying to play the piece at the same tempo as the last time I did, when I was still in the habit of practicing, and quickly realized that wasn’t possible, as my fingers were not able to react as they once had when they were more used to this type of movement. But I slowed down the process, and definitely the speed at which I attempted to play, and then broke down the piece into eight-bar segments I practiced over and again until I could play through most of the piece as a whole. And it felt great! To reconnect with Beethoven’s beautiful music, by allowing myself to break it down, slow it down, and let my body remember how ‘playing the piano’ is done, I was able to let myself enjoy the ritual I used to enjoy so much. And please understand: I was not some child prodigy destined for competitions and concert stages. While we flirted throughout my childhood, when the violin and tennis were my passions, I came to study the piano as an adult, finally finding the time for lessons and practice on this instrument I’d long admired. 

This small example proves, as so many will point out, that it’s never too late in life to do anything. The list of people who have begun new things in later life are myriad; people who have scaled Everest, taken up painting, a new musical instrument, begun singing or acting careers, began exploring the world on foot or bicycle, and so forth. Proving also, that the adventurous, artistic life is not just for the young, and the viewpoint an older participant brings to the endeavor is rich in experience. To begin a new undertaking, the most important thing required is courage. Not the courage to even begin, but the courage not to be perfect. We don’t expect perfection of children learning something new, so why do we expect it of ourselves? Because we don’t want to look silly, somehow ‘less-than,’ or we don’t want to give others an excuse to tease us about our nascent skills. Mostly, though, we don’t want to look foolish, because we care what others think about us, and we have a certain idea of who we are and how we need to move through the world to maintain that image. Comedians are admired because of their ability to look or sound foolish as they entertain us with their unique view of the world, and of how funny humans really are. Their ability to ‘let go’ is a Master Class in how we need to approach these new activities, because allowing ourselves the luxury of thinking like a child again is vital in developing new skills and learning how to do something in a completely different fashion.

So as I pick up the piano again, with the scales and arpeggios, chord progressions, and finger exercises ahead of me on a daily (I hope!) basis, I’ll try to remember to take the attitude of ‘sing like no one is listening, and dance like no one is looking!’ There is no shorter path to living life to its fullest.

The Tranquility of Acceptance

As Americans, we are taught to fight, to win, to dominate, and to be number one in whatever we do. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It has allowed a very young country to accomplish so much in so short a time it almost seems miraculous. Training our minds and our bodies is hard work, but we do it, as the saying goes, because training hard is easier than losing. Losing the game, the girl, the job, and it stings because it’s not what we were taught, and not what we have come to expect from ourselves, as well as others. There are teachers, gurus, mentors, and coaches out there, in every subject, whose existence is to help us reach a higher level, to create our best selves.

All well and good. But what if it doesn’t work out the way we planned? Life does that sort of thing more than it doesn’t. And then come the questions: did I really want this, or did I do it for someone else? What did I do wrong? Was there something else I should have done? The questions never end, but looking at some of the reasons we acted in a certain way can be helpful in guiding us to our next step. Do we regroup and try again? Do we give it up, whatever ‘it’ is, altogether? Or do we accept that we failed on this attempt and with this method and then move on. Perhaps to try again in a different way, or see where our actions led us astray on the first attempt. 

Or, do we accept where we are at this moment—lost game, failed experiment—and simply be with those feelings we have right now. Because with the sting of ‘failure’ is sometimes the relief that it has been tried, didn’t work out this time, and that’s okay. Or perhaps in retrospect, you’re able to see some of the things that tripped up this attempt at ‘winning’ the goal in front of you. And you see that the attempt was mostly successful, but the path to where you ultimately wanted to be was flawed in some way, and impeded your progress. Learning and understanding each little nuance of how you arrived here, today, at this moment in time, in these circumstances, is invaluable in moving forward. Success is truly an upward spiral, and in its circular pattern, you will encounter things you’ve seen before, and need to navigate the path in a different way that you did last time. This time, however, there is a calmness and tranquility, born of similar experience, in knowing at least one possibility that did not work, and being able to take another path with confidence that this time may work out better. Now you have taken responsibility for your actions, for your mistakes, and of only what you do in the moment. And our public image, as we see ourselves, comes into sharper focus as we accept our truths, our actions, our words, and cease to care about how this image looks to others, following only our own truth.