We know what we know. We like what we like. We make decisions and live our lives based on the knowledge these perspectives give us. When we drive a certain type of car, for example, it tends to inform us of that car’s quality, reliability, maneuverability, performance for quite a long time. If we did not find that car to our liking, we tend to hold on to that initial feeling for quite some time, and we tend to be hesitant to give it another chance. Our loss, because most companies try to improve their products as new technology becomes available or new designs eclipse the old ones for the better. The known in our lives is always a comfort zone; a place we know well enough to rely on it to help us through life without us needing to weigh decisions about each and every thing we encounter.
The known can also be a stumbling block because even when we are familiar with something or someone, we forget that other people and things change, just as we do. How many adults have attended a High School Reunion to find the ‘perfect person’ has struggled since we last saw them? That the star athlete everyone thought would ‘go pro’ and make millions of dollars has found that road closed to him, but has fallen in love with coaching his sport? Or the wallflower who found her niche in life and has prospered by taking advantage of her quiet determination? The known has become the other, and it is time to learn about their journey. When we first encountered these people, they were perceived as ‘other,’ or different, perhaps strange, and we did not understand them. Anyone who has traveled to a foreign country where they did not speak the language or understand the culture knows how this feels, and there is a certain fear that comes with those feelings. Fear of looking foolish, of saying the wrong thing, of accidentally offending someone. This is the root of prejudice, and only knowledge can stop it.
While other can, indeed, mean ‘different,’ it does not need to also be exclusive, keeping people apart. ‘Other’ can also mean a person or thing which is the counterpart of someone or something else. In this case, this person could allow us to grow in different ways, teaching us things that we never knew, and opening their minds to the things we experienced and they have not. A counterpoint at work is a great asset to anyone really wanting to grow, as suddenly, we begin to think of the ‘old familiar things’ in new ways, and perhaps creating better ways to use or improve them. If you are the manager of the Men’s department in a clothing store, you may know very little about what goes on in the Women’s department, how things are done there, or what their goals might be. Reaching out to your counterpart, in this case the Women’s manager—because, after all, many of your male clients have wives, girlfriends, daughters—and beginning to learn about the other business, will only make you stronger as you run your own, now armed with a more complete knowledge of the apparel world, and of the people who support your business. Your counterpart, formerly the other you did now know, can now be a supporting partner for you, and you for them, just by taking the time to learn about that world.
‘Other’ can be friendly, it can be scary, and sometimes we become a bit too comfortable in our own world, and rely too much on the rubrics we know to get us through everything. While reaching out to others can be intimidating, just letting someone else know that you are interested in what they do can open doors that seem closed, and allow real communication and learning to continue. After all, we have all been the ‘other’ at one point in time, and finding a friend was the thing we most wanted.