As humans, we all need food, clothing, and shelter. These are the basic things that keep us from starving, protects our bodies from injury, and keeps us safe from weather or predators of all sorts. As a baseline for moving through life, the list is pretty simple. We all, however, have wants as well. While some of our wants might coincide with our list of basics, they tend to be larger, grander, or otherwise embellished in some way we find attractive. There are designer clothes, prestigious careers, sports cars, expensive food and restaurants; the list goes on. What makes us long for things other than the simple basics we need? The want, or desire to stand out, to differentiate ourselves, to better ourselves, to reward ourselves, in different ways, from our fellow humans.
Desire to improve our skill set often derives wanting to be better at something, be it cooking or baseball. We may have seen or read of ways to improve those skills, and as they are things we like to do, and that make us happy doing them, we decide to become better by practicing more, working with an expert to help us refine our skills, and putting in the work to improve. And be they personal or professional skills that we are developing, they will support our efforts to be more skillful, effective people, and take away stress from these activities that we now do well. This, in turn, makes us calmer, more confident people in these and other areas.
When our wants delve into things that are out of reach or detrimental to us, it is often based in fear, selfishness, and pride. Fear of not being the best, the champion, is sometimes seen as failure by people. Losing in the seventh game of the World Series. Accepting the runner-up Wimbledon trophy. These both are incredible achievements by these athletes, but some see only failure, rather than the fact that if they got this far, it’s possible to go further in the future. A car will get us from point A to point B. Wanting a sleek sports car to do this is not a bad thing. Deciding, however, to buy one that is really out of our price range—because it’s nearly always possible to finance it—for how we think it will make us feel, or how we think people will now see us, is not a great idea. Our greatest tool in this situation, if only we are open enough to recognize it, is gratitude. This is when we have to step back, truly see and acknowledge our efforts, what we have, and see them for what they truly are in our lives. The recognition and affirmation of the gratitude for the chance to try, is the key to continuing to be true champions, and acknowledging that ‘failing to succeed’ is a necessary part of learning how to go further.
Want is an odd thing for the human race. At once both helpful and harmful, our perspective is vital to seeing the lessons we might learn, the paths we ought not to take. Gratitude can remind us that what we already have is good, and that ‘wants’ might point us in a new direction we had not considered.