Tag: Kindness

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Rise and Stand

Photo: pascualamaia/Pixabay

Every time we help somebody stand up, we are helping humanity rise as well. It’s quite easy to see a fallen child or elderly person and rush to help them to their feet. They are scared, for different reasons, and they are still wondering how this happened even as you help them to their feet and check to be sure they are okay. We have all been in the position of needing, and accepting, help from another when things don’t go as planned. As people realize that they are okay, or if they are not, that help is on the way, there is a release of emotion stemming from the fear of injury, of weakness, of embarrassment that can take many forms, from tears to laughter to a simple, ‘Thank you!’ Many of us tend to see their reactions as ‘too much’ sometimes, but the feelings expressed are genuine and from the heart. The true beauty of experiencing a situation like this is that it touches both parties with a quiet realization of the truth that we truly need each other. No matter how independent, intelligent, strong, or unique we may be, we feel the connection to another, and we often feel that somehow, some way, we can do the same for another.

Our world, as confusing as it can be at times, is full of people who have realized these truths, and go through their lives offering a hand to others as part of life. The man who learned that there would not be summer camp for several children in his church due to family financial difficulties, made sure these kids went to camp and had a great experience there. He did not want it known that it was he that did this, but simply said, ‘If my kids, or my family were in this predicament, I would hope there would be someone who would reach out and be sure things were going to be okay. Summer camp is not a big deal for a lot of people, but for these kids, it’s something that starts to build hope within them, that good things can happen, even in a life that hasn’t seemed quite fair at times.’ And another part of humanity rises.

In another situation, a man was walking hurriedly through New York City, dressed smartly for a job interview, and was moving quickly through the crowded sidewalk when he passed a man asking for money to get something to eat. As the man approached the man begging, he shook his head ‘No’ and kept moving, but not quickly enough that he didn’t hear the begging man say, ‘You’ve got money for fancy clothes, but not enough to share, I guess!’  Rounding the corner, he realized that he had cash with him, something unusual for him, and so he turned around, approached the begging man and gave him money. The men silently looked at each other for a few seconds, when the question was asked, ‘What changed your mind about giving me money?’ To which the other responded, ‘I don’t usually have cash with me, but when I realized I did, I turned around to find you.’ ‘Thank you,’ was all he said. The man on the street would eat that night, and rise in his own way.

We are all here together, but sometimes ‘together’ can be annoying, bothersome, and difficult to handle. It is the simple thoughts and the realization that ‘it’s not about me,’ that moves us to offer a hand, offer assistance of many kinds, and simply looking at someone we may not know, and letting them know, ‘I see you, and you deserve kindness.’

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Love and Grace beats Strength and Power

Photo: Dimhou/Pixabay

Currently, we are facing the effects of living through a pandemic; eager for facts and knowledge, and hopefully, treatments and cures. In the United States, where our society has already been fragmented by political and social tension, we are now somewhat removed from the day-to-day activities by the self-isolation of quarantine, in hopes of lessening some of the vectors of virus transmission.  We spend time with our families, maybe for the first time in a long time, and spend time watching the news, movies, social media, looking for some messages of hope and an end to this. Amidst this, however, we still see evidence of blame, disagreement, hatred—which is fear—and looking for scapegoats. There are still families separated from their children at our country’s borders, and hate crimes are reported as too many choose to lash out at others, hoping to assuage their fears by terrorizing and humiliating those they feel are ‘responsible’ for this, or any current situation. It is, however, a true measure of our empathy and humanity, to welcome the most vulnerable and powerless members of society—our own or others—and treating them with love and grace, as we want to be treated ourselves.

Strength and power are so very seductive, and way too many people pursue them as their only goal in life. On the surface, they are quite attractive: being able to make things happen, able to buy anything you want, having sway over decisions, distancing yourself from hunger, poverty, and so many difficult situations that might affect how we are able to navigate life. In a certain sense, they seem to ‘guarantee’ a life devoid of unpleasant things. Their pursuit can also make us more self-conscious, rather than self-aware, miserly rather than sharing with others, and paranoid, as we begin to question others’ interest in us, perhaps thinking that they just ‘want something’. 

Most of the world’s religions and philosophies address this sort of thinking in one way or another, which can help us see the folly of pursuing strength and power for the purpose of distancing, or perhaps protecting ourselves from others or the vagaries of life. This current epidemic shows us that the strong, the powerful are susceptible, just like the weak, the vulnerable, and those unable to ‘protect’ themselves otherwise. The way we see and look at children is often a metaphor used to guide us to a better way of seeing people in the world. Children, particularly young children, are truly vulnerable, powerless, and rely on the adults in their lives for their basic needs of food, clothing, and shelter, as well as the love and nurturing they need to grow up to be healthy adults. While any parent can tell you that these young, innocent children can also be trying, and really test their patience, it is the time, the love, and the grace shown to these children that helps them grow as humans, and learn how to navigate life—the good and the bad—and how to treat others as well.  It is this time spent that we all need so much of right now, and that we need to reach out, and show others—those we know, those we don’t know, and those we are meeting right now—that the path of love and grace, of treating everyone with kindness, will guide us to be better people ourselves.

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Choosing Kindness

It’s no secret that things in the world are out of whack, with the daily updates on the spread of the coronavirus, political infighting, and the like, and it is pretty easy to simply react to what is in front of us at any given moment. Times like these test us as humans, seeing what we are made of, so to speak, and what actions we take as we move through the day. Politically, there is a lot of rhetoric, which is not surprising, but a lot of what has been said needs to assign blame to one thing or another, whether the accusations are founded or not. People are panicking, hoarding supplies and food, and once obtained, hole themselves up and refuse to budge. And woe to anyone who gets in their way on this mission. Television does nothing to alleviate this situation, what with their ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ mantra, putting the most horrifying and inglorious happenings at the front of their broadcasts. Yes. It can be quite overwhelming. When informed that after today, a favorite restaurant would be closed for an uncertain time period, I thought of the waitstaff and others who count on this as their sole income, and wondered what they will do. I am somewhat relieved that some in this same boat, depending on sales to make a living, that their employers will be paying them a minimal wage, which is truly better than nothing, but not what they have become accustomed to making. And I feel helpless. And blessed that I am not in this same situation. And a bit guilty that I have been spared and others have not.

Amidst all this turmoil, I keep returning to something I was taught as a child. A phrase that is still with me: ‘Kindness never hurts anyone.’ Simple. Honest. Truthful. It takes a clear head, though, to remember this in times of stress, at those times we feel threatened and feel we must protect ourselves and our loved ones. This particular pandemic is still unknown in many ways, and as a result, we do not have the answers we need to feel anything like confidence when we navigate life and attempt to make good decisions. Something else this phrase evokes is that we are not the only person on the planet, who is ill, or, more likely, inconvenienced, by what is happening around us. Yes, it’s scary, and there are no easy answers—or comfort—to be had right now. Just unanswered questions, which make us all feel uncomfortable about the unknown in the world. It simply requires us to take a step back, perhaps a deep breath, or ten, and for us to see that we truly are in this together, and that helping each other is the best course of action. It was absolutely heart-warming to read about the number of grocery and drug stores that have carved out special hours for the elderly to shop, so that their safety is not compromised, and that they will be able to shop for the things they need, or that they might need, without the mayhem that crowds can bring to that situation. Again, taking the time to realize making it easier for us all to be in this together, is going to be the way through this particular crisis. In thinking of others, and not just ourselves, we become aware of ways in which others live, by choice or not, and simply knowing that fact can bring us a new perspective about life in this world.

This virus, this time, and the behavior we see out in the world will soon be history, but the decisions we make today, on our own, will be the memories that will last. I hope, and pray, that I am able to be kind to those I love, those I find annoying, those who are truly afraid and are acting out, and those who are trying to make a difference, in the lives of us all. Together.