Photo:Alexas_Foto/Pixabay
Have you ever started on a road trip, thinking you know the way, and then find yourself lost, with no idea how to get back on track? We all have done exactly this. It does not end with road trips, however. We can be on the wrong track, the best of intentions and plans in place, and realize this is a mistake. A big mistake! Taking a job that sounded so great, yet makes us miserable. Choosing to go to graduate school, only to realize that further study of a particular subject is not doing to help us, and adds nothing to our lives. Moving to a new city or state, to ‘start over.’ All of us have been there for one reason or another, and are then tasked with finding a way ‘out’ of the mistake we created. Sometimes it is a matter of retracing our steps to find the mistake, and at other times we have gone so far astray that we know we are now on unfamiliar ground, and need to truly start over.
While ‘starting over’ does not seem so bad in theory, as adults we tend not to like going back to versions of our younger self when we knew less, we answered to others, and our decisions did not affect our lives as they do when we are adults. When we experience a physical injury that heals slowly, and leaves us needing to learn to do basic things again, when we have ‘been through that’ already, we become frustrated. We become more childlike. We may cry. Having met people who have had to learn to walk again, their frustration at their helplessness is palpable: they may lash out at others, and all the feelings they could not possibly have expressed as young children learning the same thing come out, leaving them feeling even worse.
Sometimes, and this is another thing that adults do not like to hear, the solution is to wait, and for time to work its magic. Those who need to learn how to walk again after an injury find themselves dependent on others for much more than they thought, both physically and emotionally. Yet, if we are able to see our plight as both adult and child, that is, understanding what needs to be done to move forward, and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to be open to suggestion, and to trust in the good intentions of those around us, the healing begins in earnest. We can celebrate simple things, in this case: standing on our own, without crutches or aids. Or perhaps taking a short walk, maybe just across the room, or maybe down the street. These are the victories of that openness and trust.
As adults, we tend to be very self-reliant at times, refusing to see our situation as it really is. When we then cling to the belief that we are ‘right’ in doing things as we are, we close a door to let other people show us a different way that may actually be the thing we seek. When we let ourselves make mistakes, course correct, and are open to new ideas, we allow ourselves the capability of finding the path that brings us happiness, satisfaction, and joy. The empty space in our life is finally filled as the right puzzle piece clicks into place.
