Category: Uncategorized

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Love and Grace beats Strength and Power

Photo: Dimhou/Pixabay

Currently, we are facing the effects of living through a pandemic; eager for facts and knowledge, and hopefully, treatments and cures. In the United States, where our society has already been fragmented by political and social tension, we are now somewhat removed from the day-to-day activities by the self-isolation of quarantine, in hopes of lessening some of the vectors of virus transmission.  We spend time with our families, maybe for the first time in a long time, and spend time watching the news, movies, social media, looking for some messages of hope and an end to this. Amidst this, however, we still see evidence of blame, disagreement, hatred—which is fear—and looking for scapegoats. There are still families separated from their children at our country’s borders, and hate crimes are reported as too many choose to lash out at others, hoping to assuage their fears by terrorizing and humiliating those they feel are ‘responsible’ for this, or any current situation. It is, however, a true measure of our empathy and humanity, to welcome the most vulnerable and powerless members of society—our own or others—and treating them with love and grace, as we want to be treated ourselves.

Strength and power are so very seductive, and way too many people pursue them as their only goal in life. On the surface, they are quite attractive: being able to make things happen, able to buy anything you want, having sway over decisions, distancing yourself from hunger, poverty, and so many difficult situations that might affect how we are able to navigate life. In a certain sense, they seem to ‘guarantee’ a life devoid of unpleasant things. Their pursuit can also make us more self-conscious, rather than self-aware, miserly rather than sharing with others, and paranoid, as we begin to question others’ interest in us, perhaps thinking that they just ‘want something’. 

Most of the world’s religions and philosophies address this sort of thinking in one way or another, which can help us see the folly of pursuing strength and power for the purpose of distancing, or perhaps protecting ourselves from others or the vagaries of life. This current epidemic shows us that the strong, the powerful are susceptible, just like the weak, the vulnerable, and those unable to ‘protect’ themselves otherwise. The way we see and look at children is often a metaphor used to guide us to a better way of seeing people in the world. Children, particularly young children, are truly vulnerable, powerless, and rely on the adults in their lives for their basic needs of food, clothing, and shelter, as well as the love and nurturing they need to grow up to be healthy adults. While any parent can tell you that these young, innocent children can also be trying, and really test their patience, it is the time, the love, and the grace shown to these children that helps them grow as humans, and learn how to navigate life—the good and the bad—and how to treat others as well.  It is this time spent that we all need so much of right now, and that we need to reach out, and show others—those we know, those we don’t know, and those we are meeting right now—that the path of love and grace, of treating everyone with kindness, will guide us to be better people ourselves.

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The Speck in Your Eye

Photo: LIA_t/Shutterstock

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?

                    Matthew 7, Verse 3

It’s so very easy to see fault in others, isn’t it? Seeing what others are doing wrong, or judging their choice by how we feel about a particular subject is part-and-parcel of being human. When we point out something wrong with another, how does it make us feel? At times, a bit superior, and at other times, like the grim reaper, when we see the look in their eyes. If they are complicit in choosing to do something hurtful or destructive, they may be defensive about their actions or words, and that is usually obvious in their response. If they are unaware, however, they may feel confused, embarrassed, or ashamed that their actions are wrong, incorrect, or perhaps hurtful to another. There is an old saying that when you point at someone else, three fingers point back at you, which is such a fantastic reminder that no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and making mistakes is the way we learn.

There exists, though, the extremes of ‘tearing down,’ as opposed to ‘building up’ or ‘hurting,’ vs ‘healing’ and so forth. Remembering that we now have three of our own fingers pointing back at us, and to our own faults, what difference would it make in the way we think if we ‘pointed out’ good, praiseworthy things? ‘Building up’ instead of ‘tearing down?’ Emphasizing the potential good instead of the disastrous outcome of a difficult situation? Of simply looking, first, for the good in people and things? How would we feel? How would that work, even? Even the best people we know are prone to see the faults in a situation because someone will need to deal with correcting someone or something in order to make the situation ‘right.’ But, it begs the question of what is ‘right’ and who gets to make that judgement. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the piece with lacquer mixed with powdered gold and making the piece whole and usable again. The gold can clearly be seen along the crack-lines, so it is not as if the piece was repaired and now looks exactly how it did before it was broken. It has been transformed and is now something entirely new. Certainly, a Kintsugi-repaired bowl is still a bowl, but it is now unique in all the world, with a spectacular display of how it was ‘healed.’ If this can be done to a simple bowl, how can we take this same idea into how we judge others? 

‘Right’ is usually the provenance of the ‘winner’ when it applies to any type of combat, from the battlefield to the soccer field. While war and sport do, indeed, draw definitive lines about many things, our lives on this planet need not do so as well. Good things can come from bad, and lives and situations can change their course with thoughtful words and ideas. It is up to us, though, to navigate those changes in how we move through life, offering hope and love, rather than despair and fear. If we can all begin simply, little by little, becoming used to healing rather than destroying, what will be capable of doing? And what kind of world will we create?

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The ‘Other’ Perspective

We know what we know. We like what we like. We make decisions and live our lives based on the knowledge these perspectives give us. When we drive a certain type of car, for example, it tends to inform us of that car’s quality, reliability, maneuverability, performance for quite a long time. If we did not find that car to our liking, we tend to hold on to that initial feeling for quite some time, and we tend to be hesitant to give it another chance. Our loss, because most companies try to improve their products as new technology becomes available or new designs eclipse the old ones for the better. The known in our lives is always a comfort zone; a place we know well enough to rely on it to help us through life without us needing to weigh decisions about each and every thing we encounter.

The known can also be a stumbling block because even when we are familiar with something or someone, we forget that other people and things change, just as we do. How many adults have attended a High School Reunion to find the ‘perfect person’ has struggled since we last saw them? That the star athlete everyone thought would ‘go pro’ and make millions of dollars has found that road closed to him, but has fallen in love with coaching his sport? Or the wallflower who found her niche in life and has prospered by taking advantage of her quiet determination? The known has become the other, and it is time to learn about their journey. When we first encountered these people, they were perceived as ‘other,’ or different, perhaps strange, and we did not understand them. Anyone who has traveled to a foreign country where they did not speak the language or understand the culture knows how this feels, and there is a certain fear that comes with those feelings. Fear of looking foolish, of saying the wrong thing, of accidentally offending someone. This is the root of prejudice, and only knowledge can stop it.

While other can, indeed, mean ‘different,’ it does not need to also be exclusive, keeping people apart. ‘Other’ can also mean a person or thing which is the counterpart of someone or something else. In this case, this person could allow us to grow in different ways, teaching us things that we never knew, and opening their minds to the things we experienced and they have not. A counterpoint at work is a great asset to anyone really wanting to grow, as suddenly, we begin to think of the ‘old familiar things’ in new ways, and perhaps creating better ways to use or improve them. If you are the manager of the Men’s department in a clothing store, you may know very little about what goes on in the Women’s department, how things are done there, or what their goals might be. Reaching out to your counterpart, in this case the Women’s manager—because, after all, many of your male clients have wives, girlfriends, daughters—and beginning to learn about the other business, will only make you stronger as you run your own, now armed with a more complete knowledge of the apparel world, and of the people who support your business. Your counterpart, formerly the other you did now know, can now be a supporting partner for you, and you for them,  just by taking the time to learn about that world.

‘Other’ can be friendly, it can be scary, and sometimes we become a bit too comfortable in our own world, and rely too much on the rubrics we know to get us through everything. While reaching out to others can be intimidating, just letting someone else know that you are interested in what they do can open doors that seem closed, and allow real communication and learning to continue. After all, we have all been the ‘other’ at one point in time, and finding a friend was the thing we most wanted.

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Planting Seeds

Photo: Myriams-Fotos
Photo: Myriams-Fotos/Pixabay

You’ve made the decision. To write a novel. To compose a song. To learn how to cook. To run a marathon. When you came to that conclusion, it was so exciting, so enticing, so life-changing. To think that you, no, YOU were going to do something you had never done before, that sounded like the thing you’ve been looking for to start life in a new direction. And now that you’ve slept on that idea, all of a sudden, you’re not so sure. Whatever action you’ve decided to take is not only a next step in doing something that fascinates you, but you just know it is the thing that will begin the next phase of life, of getting you unstuck, of giving purpose to your existence. The big question floating in front of you, though, is ‘Where do I begin? I’ve finally realized what I need to do, but I don’t know where to start.’

All of a sudden this idea now seems scary, and we feel a bit alone. The initial enthusiasm is gone, but the idea still burns brightly in our mind. This song or this book means something to us because we love music or literature, and we so want to be a part of this wonderful-seeming world of being one of the creators of pieces that speak to others. And left to our own devices, it is daunting. As any actor will tell you, a play or a movie is the work of many people, not one. Even solo shows have many people involved, though we may see just one person on stage. Playwrights or screenwriters may write their play or movie by themselves, but when the writing stops, the editing begins, the readings begin, in order for the writer to hear their own words spoken out loud, to see if they really do work for the story being told. Largely, the writer then takes the screenplay back to the drawing board, editing this out, inserting a new idea, deleting a character and adding two others, all in the name of making the story work in the best way possible. Given how this was done, with many other people involved, his ‘solo’ work, when finally finished, will be the result of others helping him through the process.

Left to our own devices, we tend to lose patience with ourselves, and we are often the hardest on ourselves. To be patient with ourselves is vital. It is also difficult. We have a particular view on what we ‘should’ be able to do given our education, our knowledge, our experience, but we often have trouble seeing ourselves as others see us, or how we see others. The idea, whatever it is, is wonderful. It is a seed to be planted, nourished, cared-for, and like a seed, we need to be patient waiting for it to bloom and grow to fruition. We can cultivate it. 

We now have our seed. If you don’t know how to ‘plant’ this particular seed, ask someone who has done it already. A songwriter. An author. Listen, ask questions, seek others who can also help. Patiently, and with love, cultivate your seed. 

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Seeing The Opportunity

It is said that people see what they want to see, and know what they want to know. And whatever may fall on the outside of that paradigm goes unnoticed. If that is the case, how much do we miss because we have created our own little universe, where we learn it’s means and ways, how it operates, and know what to expect of it? Where is the wonder and excitement of exploring something new, be it a place or learning a foreign language? How does this world engage our thoughts and imagination, or does it at all? Small children experience this wonder all the time as literally everything they encounter is unknown, and they delight in taking in all of these new things. As we get older, and life becomes more complex, with more demands on our time and our resources, do we continue to seek the unique, the foreign, the unusual, or do we begin to stabilize things so that the demands can be more easily handled? While our lives are usually a mix of these two, far too often we begin arranging things so that we are creating time to enjoy…what? Is the time spent ‘arranging things’ time we could be planting flowers or trees, or taking a walk through the autumn leaves, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee as we watch the early morning mist clear? Probably. But which do we choose? By choosing to concentrate only on those things our society deems important—work, finances—we have chosen to put our mental, spiritual life on the back burner, and our lives become unbalanced. This creeps in surreptitiously, and we seldom notice it. What we notice is the feeling that there is ‘something more’ out there that we could be experiencing, but we’re not quite sure what it is that we seek.

Stillness of the mind is one of the things we all desperately need, and seek, to a certain degree, but how to do it is the question. Anyone who has tried meditation, journaling, or yoga has had those feelings of ‘this is a waste of time’ or ‘will this ever end’ or perhaps ‘why am I doing this, because I don’t get it.’ Each of these disciplines—meditation, journaling, and yoga—is, indeed a practice. It is a ritual in our day, and no matter how long or short the practice, it is time well spent. Why? What happens when we do this, and what are the long-term benefits of continuing to do so? Quite simply, our mind becomes quiet as we write the random thoughts that enter our heads, be they brilliant, or simply unconnected, extraneous thoughts, simply getting them out of our head and onto the paper when we journal. They may bring up new, good ideas, or they may make us think twice about how we are moving through a particular situation. The simple act of putting pen to paper and recording our thoughts allows us to get these out in the larger world, and in a form we can go back to, if we choose, to analyze or contemplate, as we need. We can also simply leave them alone, as they have stimulated us to a certain degree, and, having expressed them in writing, we are able to leave them and move on to other things. Meditation and yoga, while quite different in form and practice, also allow us to bring us closer to where we need to be, where we need to focus, and parse through the thoughts that sometimes overwhelm us, and leave us confused. In each case, with whatever practice we choose, we have given our mind the opportunity to express what intrigues us intellectually, spiritually, and have given ourselves the opportunity to mentally ‘vent’, but more accurately, to explore our thoughts within the context of our physical beings as well. It has been noted, from the ancient philosophy of ‘Mens sana in Corpore Sano’—a healthy mind in a healthy body—that the body/mind connection is so very close, which is why the physical act of writing, meditation, and yoga, to name a few of the possibilities available, of bringing the mind and the body together for the same purpose, of releasing that which does not build us up, is so vital, if only we see it. While we all see what we want to see, there is also that five-year-old, perhaps hiding deeply inside us, that wants to discover new worlds, or see the familiar in a different way, and so remain engaged with traveling forward on this planet, marveling in its wonders, and staying open to the new and exciting things it presents.

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Light in the Darkness

It’s always the darkest before the dawn. 

This old aphorism is literally true: the dark of the pre-dawn is so very intense, and it makes the first few rays of light on the horizon that much more welcome. Generally though, we use this old phrase to cheer up someone going through a rough time in their life. Job hunting, sick child, a death, and so much more that tries us has humans, and tests us and what we are capable of doing. Going through that blackness—figuratively, in this case—is never easy. And it is particularly difficult over long periods of time; time during which we may feel that there really is no end to this time of trial. We feel our way through the dark, hoping our ‘sunrise’ is nearly upon us. 

As we go through this period of time, always scanning the horizon for hints of the coming dawn, it can be really difficult to keep focus, and even more difficult not to dwell on the difficulty itself while searching for solutions. And when solutions, or what we thought were solutions, did not work for us, what then? Albert Einstein once said that his failures were simply another way that did not work as he went about trying to answer questions most of us wouldn’t even think to ask. Sometimes it’s easy to dismiss that philosophy, as Einstein’s work itself was groundbreaking, and we are not searching for universal answers to mind-boggling questions, as he was. His philosophy, however, is correct. Whether you are learning to drive a car, or drive a golf ball, certain things work, and certain things do not. It is the frustration we may feel after yet another failed attempt at something—driving the golf ball straight down the fairway, for example—that can cause us to give up, or challenge us to do something different this time. Was my form correct, or did it waver? This is where, in the golf example, a coach or teacher is so much help, as they are able to see things you cannot see, and can then guide you to a better way to move through the stroke and put the ball in the center of the fairway. All great athletes, whether involved in individual sports like tennis or golf, or participating with others in team sports like football and baseball, have said that without the help of others, they could not have done what they did, and play to the levels at which they play. They recognize that though they may indeed have a unique, astonishing talent for the sport they play, without others in their past, urging them on, keeping them on board with practice, and so forth, that they would not be where they are now, having pushed on in darker times, hoping for that sunrise.

As humans, we are social beings, even we introverts, still need the company, the words, the actions of others to keep moving forward. Even those of us who do our best work in a more solitary environment still need the encouragement, the camaraderie, of our fellow humans to keep us going, to remind us that it’s okay to fail, and to celebrate our victories, however large or small, with us.

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Open Your Eyes

Open your eyes! As a child, I heard this more than once from my parents, as many of us did. When looking for something, or hoping for a desired snack to magically appear before us, we were urged to look at what is in front of us, and not for what we were searching or hoping to find. As adults, how often do we do this same thing at work, at home, as we have an idea of what it is that we ‘need’ at that moment, and if it isn’t immediately in front of us, we dismiss what we do find? Often. Way too often. When we’re looking for our favorite shirt in the closet, and our spouse, tired of our complaining, walks over and instantly puts his or her hands on said shirt, and hands it to us, we feel a bit silly, and try to joke our way out of our embarrassment. Not a big deal in this case. It becomes more consequential, though when we do the same thing with people. Evolution and nature made sure we knew certain things were dangerous and to be avoided if we were going to survive as a species. Big, barking dogs are probably to be avoided, as is standing too close to the railroad track. But what of people who don’t look like us, behave like us, or speak our language? Yes, they are strange to us, but how do we view these differences, and how do those decisions affect the way we interact with them?

In life and in work, we often need to open our eyes; they are not technically closed, but we are not seeing things that might be helpful; to us and those around us.  This ‘closed’ stance can be a result of our upbringing, experience, and things like being told what someone was like. Little prejudices, like, ‘boys are better at sports,’ ‘girls are better cooks,’ begin to solidify and close off options when we take them as truth.

In reality, good athletes are both men and women, and while each may excel at different disciplines, there are, indeed, female boxers and football players, just as there are fine male cooks and dancers. Opening our eyes allows for this possibility, but it also requires a trust in ourselves that what we thought we ‘knew’ is not the case, being okay with that, and then exploring the newness in front of us. Why is this even important? We all recognize that people seek out the new because they are curious, and want to learn about things they have not experienced. Others prefer to stick to the tried-and-true, better able to respond to life’s challenges most efficiently when the situation is at least somewhat familiar. Both are valuable and balance us as a society, as we learn from interacting with each other. 

As we start to experience and learn about other points-of-view without judgement, and to understand other ways of thinking about a problem or navigating a tough situation, we develop the capacity to see other people, other thoughts and ideas, and other situations for what they are. This is the beginning, that tiny thought-change that allow us to better understand one another, allows the adventurers to see why having knowledge of something before leaping into it might be useful, as well as letting those more discreet in nature to see that while a certain amount of knowledge about something is a good baseline, sometimes one just needs to take action. Are you bold and adventurous, or are you thoughtful and discreet? Or perhaps it depends on the situation? With so much happening in our world right now that demands thought and action, what little steps are you able to take to bring yourself to your next level? To open your eyes to things you might have overlooked? Whatever it may be for each of us, now, while the planet is taking a deep breath, might be the time to act…

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Sacred Cows

photo: D. Barr

‘If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.’

—Lao Tzu                       

We all have ‘sacred cows,’ those items, actions, or ideas that are unassailable, untouchable, that we associate with the good things in our lives. They may give us structure, and help us make decisions. While religiously associated with Hinduism and Buddhism, secularly, the term has come to signify things in our lives that not only cannot be touched, but that cannot be changed in any way. Churches find it difficult to update their Prayer Books, because so many know the current edition, and see the change as nearly blasphemous. It is not, of course, but usually a needed change to better reflect our society, as opposed to the world for which it was written twenty-five, fifty, or two-hundred years ago. At a personal level, we develop habits that become automatic behaviors and allow us to do somewhat mundane things, like preparing the morning coffee, or brushing our teeth, without having to put a lot of thought into them, freeing our minds for other things.

Change…can be scary. When change is required, we slow down considerably, trying to remember the new method, the new words, the new steps to accomplish something we’d come to take for granted. And, like learning anything new or complicated, it can be frustrating. A running coach trying to improve an athlete’s stride to make it more efficient, faster, and less tiring, faces difficult days, as the runner attempts to internalize the coach’s advice to become better. It. Is. Difficult. And it is frustrating to both parties, as our prior knowledge and experience with a particular activity has informed our intelligence and we feel more comfortable with the ‘old way.’ It is when we are presented with new possibilities, however, difficult as they may be to conceive at first, that allows us to thrive, and to do things we never thought possible.

The opportunity to see and experience things from a different perspective presents us a new way to navigate our lives. The old church prayers may still mean a lot to us, but words of the new Prayer Book may help us to see things in a novel way, leading us to other thoughts that enhance our understanding of what we already know, and letting us build our knowledge to help others understand as well. The slight changes the running coach proposed may take stress off our legs, or other groups of muscles we use when running, leading to a smoother, easier stride, a faster pace, and less soreness afterward, leaving the runner able to better recover from her training sessions, and to then prepare for the next session or competition. Taken in tiny bites, tiny steps, the path to changing our minds, our thoughts, our habits, becomes easier, and eliminates much of the fear of change we have. Mastering each small step, and taking the time we need to do so, allows us to build confidence in the process, and the ultimate change becomes less scary and more desirable.

When we open ourselves to new possibilities, uncomfortable or unexpected as they may be, our ‘sacred cows’ can calmly reside within our hearts and thoughts. When we learn new things, and they begin to become a part of our thoughts, we can begin to see how our sacred cows helped pave the way to new understanding. It is being open to the unexpected and the novel that allows us to grow, to understand, and to better recognize how we can come together to create a world that needs this kind of unity to exist.

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The Power of Saying ‘Yes’

Photo: 22563/Pixabay

We’re currently living in a world of caution, of isolation, of fear. Some of this, of course, is caused by the Novel Coronavirus Pandemic we are experiencing at some level, but that is an exacerbation of what was there already. When new opportunities present themselves, how do we react? If we feel comfortable with what has been suggested, we will generally say ‘yes’ to friends, co-workers, and family. And if the suggestion is unfamiliar to us? Then the questions begin, most having to do with how far out of our personal comfort zone is this going to take us. The thing with this, though, is to keep an open mind, and focus on what we might learn.

Saying yes to a new thing may mean we find ourselves in unfamiliar surroundings with people we don’t know. What we don’t realize in many situations like this, is that most of the people there are in the same boat, as novices. Our tension levels increase with the level of difference from what we know to where we are now. If we simply approach this with a ‘what am I going to learn now’ outlook, the magic of these situations begins to reveal itself, usually in the form of a helping hand. You might realize something familiar in the new activity, and are able to help out someone else better understand it. Conversely, you might be comforted by someone’s story that the first time they did this felt so awkward they felt they might never do it again, yet here they are, helping you.

Okay. We said ‘yes’ to something, and it worked out. Perhaps not perfectly, but we now feel more confident about doing it again, and perhaps improving our skill there. The ‘scared’ feeling is replaced by a growing confidence. Now we know more about this, we’re not complete neophytes, and we know people who might help us when we have questions or run into difficulties. All of a sudden, the ‘F’ word—failure—becomes less important as we learn to navigate our way through, feeling less scared, and more willing to take the risks we need to succeed.

Most of us are not experts at everything we try. Some of us, of course, have natural aptitudes at golf, computer science, music, and the like, and we tend to do very well early on in our efforts to learn about these things. Likely, though, when we show up at the driving range several times a week, take a lesson every so often, and get out on the golf course to learn how the actual game is played, we improve. We improve our physical skills, our understanding of what we are doing wrong, how to correct and improve our skills overall, and we begin to enjoy this no-longer-new game of golf. Looking back at the scared beginner, who was more concerned with looking and feeling foolish, we said ‘yes,’ and can now see how our journey progressed, and opened a new world we enjoy.

Saying yes to new things, situations, people offers us the chance to learn something new. With this new mindset, we begin to create new opportunities, projects, and adventures that contribute to our overall health, as we’re now in a position to help others, as well as better understand the world in which we live. Stepping out of our comfort zone—for ourselves and others—allows us to become more comfortable with our own vulnerability, which opens us to learn and experience life as it comes to us.

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One Step Back

When we think of our lives, we tend to remember the wonderful times first: when we succeeded, when we felt loved, when we felt happiness. We tend to put the tougher times, when we failed, or felt lost, into the back of our mind and sometimes have trouble remembering the details of those events. In the long game, though, we fly and we fall at different times, and these are just steps we take on our journey. Because we tend to be hardwired for ‘good’ things, we tend to look at our failures, however large or small they may be, as bad things. The reality of a journey, however, is that a step backward is simply that: ONE step backward. That step back does not erase all of the steps we too forward to reach our current destination.

To keep perspective on this idea, think of learning to read and to write. When we first look at a printed page, it may look like a series of black dots and lines, but as we begin to learn the alphabet, we begin to see a particular order. We may not yet understand that order, or how to interpret it, but we needed to see those black lines and dots in order to reach the next step of seeing the individual letters as well as how they are grouped to form words. From the recognition of individual words, comes the cognizance of seeing them arranged in ideas and thoughts, which is the stage that we begin to actually read what was heretofore a mystery to us. Along that simplified passage, we come across things that confuse us, that we mispronounce as we read aloud, that we don’t understand, and these, too, are just steps forward.

What we forget as adults, as we become more knowledgeable, is that each step has been accomplished as just one part of a larger task, and that as we go forward, if we need to take a step back, that it does not erase all the forward steps we took to reach that point. As adults, we tend to look at learning as something we did in our past, and now that we are grown-up, we should already know this. Which begs the question of why should we know this? Anyone who has been taught to read as a teenager or an adult can identify with the struggle to learn to read; for them, however, this is a passage into living a fully functioning life that is truly new to them. They knew they might have trouble learning this, and knew they had to work hard to learn this new skill. It is the mindset of someone who knows what they know, but more importantly, knows what they don’t know, and that it may not be easy. They don’t see a step back—to learn past or future tense, for example—as something bad, but as yet another step taken to better understanding.

We all continue to learn new things as we progress through life, be it academic, athletic, artistic, and simply letting go of the idea of ‘at my age, I should know this…,’ will open us up to many new things that bring us to new levels of understanding. Even for those things we already know, new insight and awareness come with seeing things from a different perspective.